She speaks and trains on understanding and ending domestic abuse nationally and internationally. Maybe at this point I should say I also was a virgin. I don’t consider it helpful at all to compare a character ( written as a fantasy figure by a woman for women ) in a work of fiction with the very real issue of domestic abuse ( aswell as the rape, abortion, sexual abuse, etc. A very odd & troubling piece of writing that seems worryingly ambivalent about the abuses it purports to highlight. Millions of women have picked up, read and potentially become aroused to a book with a central character that a domestic abuse expert believes matches the profile of an abuser, a central character that has been held up as exciting and sexually attractive. James’ appalling writing style, which was clearly intentional. He always had that smile, the one like he was laughing at me… It was beautiful and lovely and everything was perfect, and yet I felt I needed to get away as quickly as possible. He took up every second of my day and submerged himself in me. To those of you desiring a Christian Grey, he is abusive; if you meet a man like him, run away as fast as you can.That gratitude propelled me into three years of verbal, physical, and sexual abuse.
Please visit Venus Blogs as they also feature content that tackles difficult subjects: I think it’s a very helpful piece.
I myself have been troubled by the story of 50 Shades of Grey and how it has become so popular as I was in a similar situation myself.
He paused regularly during the conversations we had and left me wondering what he really meant. To those of you with a Christian Grey, who are loving him into changing; it won’t work.
Not only was I a virgin, I was a virgin who didn’t believe in sex before marriage. As the party went on, his secret smile created such a fluttering within (perhaps it was the whisperings of my inner goddess), but I also felt I needed to avoid his intense, dark gaze. mentioned ) especially when the style of prose adopted by the writer of the article seems to ape the Mills & Boon style of E. Obviously not all readers will buy into or be affected by this, but the books add to a cultural landscape in which the lines between romance and abuse, consent and non-consent are highly blurred, and I think it’s useful to analyse the books’ content in this context (which Natalie does in more detail on her website). Natalie – Thank you for writing this and sharing your experience. Rude Word – Articles such as this are hugely helpful. What I think is unhelpful is commenting on an article such as this in a way that undermines and invalidates someone’s real, lived experience of abuse.
I felt just like Ana, I needed to “get away from him.” I left the party and imagined I’d never see him again. There’s almost a shaming, silencing quality to your comment – as if you would prefer that people do not step forward and attempt to use their own experience to help other people understand that “Christian Grey is not the ideal man.
I dreamed of him, but within a week, I had got him out of my mind and was getting on with my life. (This was before everyone had mobile phones, or I’m pretty sure he would have just found me by using tracking software on his computer). What would a beautiful Adonis like him want with me? He’s an abuser and he will destroy every woman he meets”.So, last night, when I saw Christian Grey strike Anastasia Steele for displaying frustration after he Anastasia Steele.I’ve been swept off of my feet by what I desperately believed to be—but were not—grand romantic gestures.In any case, trying to make a point about the content of an article by policing ‘tone’ and ‘style’ is a surefire way of making no point at all. The article is explicitly clear about different types of abuse. – “He’s an abuser and he will destroy every woman he meets.” – “It is domestic abuse.“worryingly ambivalent about the abuses it purports to highlight” ‘Ambivalent’? When you defend this book, you become abuse apologists.” – “he is abusive; if you meet a man like him, run away as fast as you can.” And all of those things bear repeating time and time again. Some may argue as did one poster about the comparison of a fictional character and a real-life person who did some horrible things, but there were things in this post that may be helpful to someone reading it who just may be in a situation with a volatile person. Just like Christian Grey, he began pushing me to do what he wanted sexually. When he abused me sexually in every way possible, he held me to it.