It seems everyone's an expert on relationships and human behavior, or are they? Premature dismissals of someone are a one-way ticket to overlooking a potentially great love match. Instead, gradually reveal your inner thoughts, feelings, and personal story starting with light and casual then progressing to deeper, more intimate self-disclosures. When you acknowledge your wants and needs, it’s more likely you’ll land a lasting relationship. DON'T get lost talking about yourself and your past, including the mistakes, heartaches, who you were ten years ago or even in your last relationship.
Here, the advice IS coming from actual experts and in this case, six bona fide therapists! Ditch the long laundry list written by everyone else, but you! When getting to know someone in a new relationship, they want to know who you are today not how you were in a past relationship or lifetime.
When we alter who we are and portray values that are not our own, we attract people we were never meant to attract, therefore the relationship is doomed before it begins. It is much easier than putting forth the energy required to pretend. DON'T complain about your lack of luck with love or blame your city's [insert city name here] dating scene!
DO keep in mind that dating isn't easy for anyone, no matter where you live.
Then you've probably noticed the onslaught of search engine results when you Google the phrase "dating dos and don'ts." Yikes! DON'T convince yourself you only have one "type." DO widen your definition of a compatible mate. Still, it's nice when the man foots the bill after a dinner date. Is he the same race, or does he have the desired financial/educational status?
Over 300 million results bombard the computer screen. Open yourself to the possibility that you can fall in love with someone who doesn't perfectly meet the criteria that you believe is your ideal or particular "type." 2. DO approach others with curiosity, kindness, and compassion. Watch yourself for behaviors that could be constured as needy, desperate, unstable, or otherwise undesirable. Telling a potential mate how much you really, really like them adds a lot of unnecessary pressure! Likewise, ladies shouldn't try to be just one of the guys. ” Do find a balance with considering the opinions of others, while staying in touch with your own intuition regarding who is a compatible match for you.
, like, “a guy told me he was looking for a girlfriend by next year so he’d have someone to split rent with.” Then there was the charmer who told his date about the time he “got wasted, peed and mopped it up with his clothes, and then wore them.” Um, yeah., we’d like to assume you know better than to make mistakes like these.
Still, navigating the world of online dating can definitely be tricky—what kind of message is clever, but not creepy?
DO talk about yourself as who you are today in the present and the values and goals you have for yourself in the future. DON'T monopolize the conversation or make yourself the highlight real, no one healthy or worthwhile being in a relationship with is interested in getting into a coupleship with a narcissist.
DO make the conversation reciprocal, be inquisitive and show your interest in getting to know the other person. DON'T alter who you are to fit what you think your love interest wants/needs.
If you really are going away, wait until you get back to ask her out.
A good rule of thumb: if you aren’t available for a date within 7 days of sending the message, don’t send it.
A lot of women are looking for something serious and have no interest in participating in your immature wager with friends. He refused to accept it and continued to message me listing all the reasons why we’d be great together.” — Ashley, 30 The problem..the solution: No matter how strongly you feel about your potential with a woman you meet online, accept the break-up gracefully.