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I’ve been on the receiving end of some rather shocking insults I never would have dreamt a person could say.

One I’ll never forget: “Your shape is not desirable to me.” At least he tried to make it sound like a business transaction.

It’s downright tough to leverage myself into a cluster of people waiting for drinks at a bar. Sometimes the skinny girl’s easy, fun night out in Hollywood is the fat girl’s night of stressful geographic strategy.

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I impose the most rules, restrictions, and justifications in my life.

As the chief lawmaker of my own village, I abide by a somewhat irrational code of conduct.

Nobody likes to be insulted, and when it’s super-cruel in this way, it’s utterly heartbreaking. Worse, some men are fetishists and like you in such a way that it’s actually creepy to be around them.

Those are the guys who “really love a cuddler” and couldn’t care less about getting to know you.

Another I will never forget, but not because it was so tactful: “I would have sex with you, but I’d never be able to introduce you to my friends or family.” I’m not an alien!

In fact, I happen to be a very friendly person with a solid sense of humor.

“If I wear this long jacket and stand just so, no one will even realize how overweight I am.” “If the lighting at the restaurant is dim enough, I can totally get away with this top.” “If I wear these heels, my legs will look slimmer. ” “If I make self-deprecating jokes about the size of my ass and make him laugh, he’ll fall in love with my sense of humor.” “If I show up later in the evening, all the beautiful people will have gone home.” “If I show up earlier in the evening, all the beautiful people won’t be there yet.” “If he isn’t interested, it’s fine — who meets their soulmate in a bar anyway? In a very pragmatic way, it is also actually physically hard to meet someone in Los Angeles.

Our bars and restaurants are crowded, and I hate being the big girl trying to squeeze into a booth or through the room. Asking a restaurant hostess to move my party to another table because I literally could not fit into it.

Perhaps the overflow of models, actresses, and beach bunnies is contributing to Los Angeles’s perpetually landing on lists like “Worst Cities for Women Looking to Marry.” Our “norm” is a practically unattainable standard.

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